I crashed. Slept for 2 hours. Dreamed about unhealthy food again. Big, juicy porterhouse steak, coooked medium rare. Shrimp. Big honkers. With cocktail sauce. Big fat crabs, already shelled for you. Barbecue pork ribs with sweet, spicy sauce. Desserts by the bucket. Ice cream. Chocolate cake. Cherry pie. As well as big juicy fattening American hamburgers. You know the kind. Like on the Carl's Jr. TV commercial. Thick, juicy, with so much fat dripping off them you can't hardly eat them.
You get the idea. Everything you can't eat on the ETL diet. In spades. Dangled before me by my dreaming mind. Once again.
I don't know why my mind keeps doing this. It's like it wants to torture me or something. I guess I have a stronghold about food. God knows, I have been heavy most of my life. The training of youth. I talked about that before. One thing for sure: In my family growing up food meant comfort. Food meant pleasure. Food meant love.
I am feeling a bit better though. The inflammation is way down from this morning. I discovered the trick to fasting after my last post. If you don't want to feel queasy with a sick, sour stomach, belching constantly, just drink water. Lots and lots of water. I use Polland Springs mineral water. Orange flavored, but with no sweetener at all. I do not like sweeteners. The carbonation may not be that great for me. But compared to what I have been eating for years, it's a walk in the park. It certainly qualifies as a zero calorie clear liquid. Anyway, I simply process the glasses of water one after another. I am always sipping it. Once one is empty, I make another. This seems to be flushing things out.
Ruth and I going to the store and I am going to get her something to eat.
More later.
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1 comment:
This seems like it would be so hard to do and yet you are doing it. This makes me think maybe I should re think what I am eating. I'm feeling like I am eating all the wrong things..hmm...interesting read...good luck.
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